Confidence – finding it again

Words by Jo Irvine, career coach at NABS

As a coach, people talk to me about developing their confidence all the time. They also talk about losing their confidence. Maybe there is a lost property office with a shelf with little bundles of people’s precious confidence, looking out the window waiting to be claimed or given away to someone else, somewhere.

So, what is really sitting on that lost property shelf? When did you last feel confident? And what was it that made you walk tall and feel you could do anything at that one moment, when it all just fitted into place? How did you lose it? And did you really lose it?

Let’s face it, I don’t think most of us can say we are confident all the time. Often our confidence can grow as we get older or gain more experience and find ways to learn and grow, but that is not always the case. Life often gets in the way.

How then do we lose it? Circumstances will often contribute to how you feel and what you can do. If you break your leg you are unable to dance. If you go through a major personal experience it will take time for you to feel like yourself again and this includes feeling confident about who you are and what you can do.

We talk about finding our confidence. I can see how that expression makes sense and I think there is something about finding it, but it’s not hidden in the garden behind a tree, it’s about looking for it inside yourself. We all have felt confident about something at some time and remembering what that is, how you achieved it, and how it made you feel is important in helping you discover what you need to feel confident in yoursels.

Ask yourself the question: “What am I really good at?” I know how difficult that question is, but deep down you know there are some things you are really good at. Ask your friends and colleagues, tell them what they are good at and start to find that confidence together. It’s not just at work but very much about your home life as well. Little things add up.

Don’t leave your confidence sitting on a shelf growing old and out of touch, find it again.

Coaching can help you start to explore what you are good at and how you can be confident and happy. Find out more on our career support page and fill in this form if you are based in London and the South East and this form if you are based in Manchester or Scotland to apply for three sessions with one of our executive coaches.


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